1. THANK YOU to those who step up to support this website. You can choose $15 (silver) or $25 (Gold) per month of $1000 (Patron) as these levels show up on everything you post and your profile! Let people know that YOU really believe in what you want in your life.
  2. PayPal, Venmo, Zelle are all accepted means of supporting SMTR. QueenBee is the ONLY person to see your name and NEVER EVER tells others. We do NOT sell any information from SMTR, nor about you personally.


Forum Rules

These are the rules we expect all members to follow. We feel they are reasonable when you take into account that this website is to be kept friendly to the everyday real woman who may come in to check us out.

If in doubt QueenBee wins!

If in doubt, QueenBee Debbie is always right. The rules are always adapting to the needs of our website and forums. As my vision has formed this website, not yours, I am always right and there is no jury. My standards are the measuring stick that decisions are made by, not yours.

Why couples are not allowed to share a User ID

Often we've had couples register and want to share a user ID. We do understand the reasons for this, as it's hard to hide information from each other if you share a user ID.


EACH member MUST have their unique and individual user ID. This is not an option. If we find that you are sharing a User ID, your account(s) will be banned.

Members have asked why we don't take their word when they tell us they won't go into the women or men only areas. Why? It's very simple. Over the 7 years of this website's existence, the administrators of SMTR have booted over 1,000 men for violating the Ladies ONLY section. Only two women were found to violate the Men ONLY section, interestingly enough.

It's very simple really. Men are far more inclined to follow their *kink brain* and decide 'Oh, one little look isn't going to hurt anyone..' BUT, think on this. This is a website about RESPECTING STRONG WOMEN. Supposedly the men who register for membership here are full of respect for strong women, yet all too often they would violate the Ladies ONLY area. Does this make sense to you?

One man that was booted was sent an email explaining where he was caught and that we'd watched him go into multiple Ladies ONLY topics. He was one of the few men who ever bothered to respond after getting caught. He said 'When I decided to see what was in that forum, I thought all the 'juicy' conversations were hidden away. The women were behaving in the open forum, so there had to be someplace they were talking about what they want to do to their men. Instead, I should have known better. My Mom and my sisters have the exact same conversations as these women do! There wasn't anything of what I hoped to find. It was a lark, but now I feel like an ass. My sincere apologies.'

In our current website redo the main forum has been fixed to require a male or female account identifier. So the different genders can no longer go wandering in and out of private areas as they choose.

If you are a man interested in what women have to say, ask us. We're women, not men and our conversations are the one's that bore you to tears. Yes, the topics about how we feel, how our feelings were hurt, how we would prefer to feel, etc. Sometimes we just need other women to sympathize.

To further protect the women from curious men, the 'Verified Real Woman' area was created. For more information read this FAQ - http://shemakestherules.com/faq/what-is-all-this-about-being-a-verified-real-woman.19/

Please report predators of any kind; financial dominatrix, personal info, asking for help, etc



Why did we put this is caps? It's because we want every member to know they can report anyone showing predatory behavior.
  1. Financial dominatrix will sign onto this site as a normal member. Then they lure men (and sometimes women) into being their friend, talking with them, etc. Quite often they prey on the men who have strong kink desires as these women convince them that they are the one who will make them happy. Watch out! This is NOT a healthy dynamic for you!
  2. We've had a couple of women who would 'meet' single men via this site and then ask for assistance, whether it be plane tickets to visit them, a new iPad, or phone, help with their electric bill, etc. Again, protect yourself!
  3. If ANYONE on this site asks you for financial assistance, personally identifiable information, etc., then LET QueenBee or ShadowLady know immediately!!! You can find QueenBee's profile page here: http://shemakestherules.com/members/queenbee.279970/ and ShadowLady here: http://shemakestherules.com/members/shadowlady.279976/ and ALL members can easily leave a message on our profile page.
  4. Remember that if you meet a potential partner or playmate on this site, BE CAREFUL. We do not usually know these people in person and only know what they tell us. It's up to you to protect yourself! Remember that any person who seems too good to be true probably is! We had one member several years ago who was taken in by a scam artist. He said that he should have known because they had everything in common. Please, BE CAREFUL and protect yourself! Only you can do that!
And remember too, SMTR is not at fault in any of these cases! We do our best to protect you, but ultimately anything you share on the internet has the potential to harm you if you are not careful.

Why we discourage pictures in posts

Pictures are not allowed to be in the average post. It would have to relate directly to your post and not just because you think it's a cool picture. This goes for cartoons, etc., as you should not be reposting artwork that is copyrighted. You can get us in trouble, and I'll delete your picture first.

Also, pictures that show women as extreme sex objects (the unhealthy skinny, women who dress to please men, etc) are not welcome here. Most women DO dress to please the eye of their man, but we don't always do it everyday. It's not healthy for the average woman to see these extreme cartoonish examples of what you might find fun or sexy.

Remember, this website is to be a place for the 'average' female to feel comfortable. Not to please the men with pictures they like. Sorry guys.. well, not really. Maybe it's time you read information and look at less pictures.

User ID's and why we're picky on what is allowed

USER ID's. We do not allow user ID's that are all about the kink. We do not care if you are a submissive, submissive, worm, dominatrix, etc. We real women do not wish to know about your personal kink unless we're asking. (We've polled the verified real women on this site, so we know what we're talking about!)

To this end, if we ask you to redo your user ID and you do not, then that is reason to be booted. (Put a message on QueenBee's profile that you would like to change your user ID and what you would like it to be. We'll take care of it for you.) This is first and foremost a site for real women, not for your kink. If you don't like this rule, you probably won't like the rest of the site either and you are welcome to leave.

Warning - below is a list of what we will not allow in any form:

User ID's containing:
  1. Email addresses
  2. Links to other sites or any advertising with product names
  3. References to body parts
  4. Illegal acts
  5. Negative or hateful terminology
  6. Anything demeaning (by our terms, not yours)
  7. Age play (child like person looking for Mommy)

Why do we hate one liners and do not allow them?

NO ONE LINERS! Some folks like to respond to a post simply to say 'yes!', or 'I agree', or 'You rock!', 'I like this', etc. If you're going to respond, even to introductions, say more than 'Welcome'. This is a cheating way to get your message count up.

If you are going to take part in a discussion, write more than one line and make it something that ADDS to the discussion. You are welcome to explain what it is that you agree or disagree with, and/or your personal point of view.


Private messaging aka private conversations rules

Private messaging is also known as personal conversations in this software.

Because we've had such an issue with inappropriate messages to the women, we've made it so that only those who are site supporters are allowed to send personal conversations.

If you are interested in responding to a members dating profile, you may only respond if you are a site supporter. We do this to protect our members from those who would play games or have multiple profiles. If you're serious and value this site and it's members, then we're sure you'll be happy to help support our custom programming and other costs to maintain this wonderful community.

Do not email any members with inappropriate personal, rude or kinky questions or offers if you have not been invited to do so. If a member complains you could be banned from SMTR with no hearing. If you have been bothered, you will be asked for proof and we reserve the right to do as we see fit.


Members who sign on and immediately start messaging members with ANY unwelcome message, including messages of just 'hi', you will be removed from this site.

Kink discussions are ONLY to be in the appropriate forum

Kink subjects need to be posted in the appropriate forum. Some of our members are not into any kink, and we separate this area for that reason. Your post can be deleted and/or modified by our Lovely Moderators at any time, and you don't get to argue about it.

The sexuality areas are for discussion on general sexuality. Pay attention to what the forum headings are!

We maintain a separate forum for kink discussions, but you must be a site supporter in order to read and post there. As soon as you upgrade your account you will have access to the these forums and topics.

The main open forums are to remain primarily kink free as much as possible.

Do not copy, email, read or print posts or topics for non members

Please do not copy, email, read or print messages for non-members. Respect each other's privacy please. THIS ALSO MEANS that you DO NOT share messages with your spouse/partner/significant other/etc., if the posts are in the WOMEN or MEN only forums! Your partner, if male, is NOT a member of the women only forum and vice versa.

Please, use common sense and respect others privacy!

Discussions regarding anything considered illegal, dangerous, etc.

No discussions of an illegal nature are allowed, and this is by OUR determination, not yours. Any member posting Items that would be considered illegal will be removed from the site and reported to authorities. Acts that are considered illegal include but are not limited to, are: rape, child abuse, and drug dealing. We also include items in 'poor taste' as being worthy of rejection.

We also do not endorse anything that is potentially life threatening, like discussions on 'breath play'. Dangerous is determined by our beliefs, not yours.

Political posts

Posts of political nature are not allowed. This website and forums are not for you to share your own agenda. If we tell you to remove content and stop posting, you must listen or leave our website. This website is not about you, but is about our overall community, and safely and sanely promoting the daily reality of living Female Led Relationships.

Over the years we've had a few wars erupt from people posting about women in politics, who is running for president, etc. And this is where the Female Supremacists can make the rest of us crazy, as they are saying that any female is better than a male running for office. Please, don't make the rest of us crazy!

For this reason we strongly discourage any posts and topics that express strong political views. It's like religion discussions - they can be inflammatory too.

Profile pictures also known as Avatars - Rules

Only those who support this site are allowed to have a profile picture, which is also known as an avatar. We reserve ALL rights of refusal of any picture.

She Makes The Rules is not a pornographic nor female supremacist site. Explicit pictures, even pics that are deemed too 'sexy', or posts of a sexual nature or of sex acts will be removed. Avatars and personal pictures showing poor taste or inappropriate content will not be allowed, or will be removed. We will deny a picture if we do not think it suits the purpose of SMTR. (Remember that SMTR strives to be friendly to new women and men who may not have the same tastes you do. This is NOT a sex, cross dressing, women stomping men, etc., site and will NOT reflect any of those attitudes!)

We've had individuals post pictures of their family; spouse, children, etc. We do not allow this for several reasons. One it crosses into issues of family privacy and safety. Two, if only one person is a member, we do not know if the other person would want their picture shown.

You are welcome to post a picture of yourself, but it must show you at your best. We've had all kinds of pictures over the years and some of them are definitely not flattering to the person who posted it, nor was it something the other members wanted to see.

Please use your BEST judgment and put up a picture you wouldn't mind your Mom or daughter seeing.

Pornography - not here on SMTR!

SMTR is not considered a pornographic site but IS a site with adult conversation of adult relationships.

We do not allow pictures we believe are pornographic, show nudity, etc., unless they are a tasteful addition to a topic. Assume that the picture will not be approved.

Only those who are site supporters will have the ability to post pictures to topics at all. This is to save us from those who show up in full blown kink brain and assume we all want to see pictures of their anatomy. Rest assured, we do not!

Female supremacy

She Makes The Rules is not a pornographic nor female supremacist site.

Female supremacy is where the female is deemed better than any man. Those who believe in the supremacy of all things female are often rather evangelical in nature. It's great to say that all women are better, smarter, stronger, wiser, etc., than any man, BUT it is my (QueenBee's) belief that while women have wonderful qualities, it depends on the person.

In my personal opinion there are many men who are fabulous and worth looking up to, as much as there are wonderful women to look up to and admire. Yet, to believe that we as a sex are better than all men is not balanced, as there are both men and women who are not worthy of anyone's admiration or trust.

Here on SMTR we strive to be balanced in seeing that both women and men have their wonderful qualities and that we are best when working together towards mutually satisfying happiness.

Showing respect with no flaming or flaring of tempers in disagreement

You MUST show respect at all times. Accusations, insults, belittling, or any other comments seen as rude, flaming, or disrespectful to others is not allowed. This site is a community and we like it best when it's a community that enjoys each other, or at the least - learns from someone else's point of view.

It is not necessary for you to agree with anyone's personal point of view, but it is expected that you will respond with your own opinion in a polite and respectful manner. Anyone who consistently breaks this rule will either be placed on moderation so their posts have to be approved, or their account will be closed.

No personal contact information is allowed in the general areas

Sometimes people simply don't think things through. One of those things we've had happen regularly is people share their email address or phone number in a rather public manner in our general open forum.

Yes, only member are allowed into the forum, BUT you still do not know who they are or why they are here! Please protect your privacy.

Shared contact information is considered any info that helps someone to find or contact you in any way. That includes email addresses and phone numbers, besides User ID's on other websites, forums, etc. Save that information for personal conversations (private messages).

Note: Only those who support this site have the ability to send private messages.

Posting an introduction & no contact details are allowed

We do ask that all new members post an introduction as soon as they're comfortable here.

Please post an introduction in the Introduction area and let us know who you are, and why you're enjoying SMTR. Perhaps even what you hope to learn here. All of these things stimulate discussion and sharing of ideas. The more information you give us, the more likely you are to get honest and sincere responses in return.

There are to be NO email addresses or other contact information shared in any public area of this forum. Keep personal information private and only share via personal conversations (private messages).

Self promotion, advertising and spam is not allowed

Blatant self-promotion is not tolerated. You may post links to genuinely helpful websites, books, or groups related to female led relationships, but they might be removed if I, or the Lovely Moderators, think they are not for She Makes The Rules (SMTR).

Use of this group for spam will warrant immediate removal. This includes advertisement and mentioning your personal blogs, books, forums, etc. We will make a determination based on the content. Please put your personal links on your profile (if you are a site supporter) and never in a post.

Any personal links could be removed if we don't like them.


Capitalization of Her/She and lower case i style of writing

Please refrain from using I/i, Her/me. W/women, and so on. It is poor English, silly, and just hard to type. No capitalizing Her, Woman, She, etc. Use good English!

Some people do not understand why we have this rule. In many online forums dedicated to a kinkier lifestyle, they use a small 'i' to denote the person who is submissive or a submissive. They will also capitalize She, Her, Wife, etc, to show that she has more importance.

Here on SMTR we believe that everyone here is of equal importance. However, what really happens is that this style of writing confuses the heck out of people who have no interest or understanding of this dynamic. It has caused so much confusion!

Also, it helps you to get out of kink brain too, we believe. So our rule is to write normally! Just like you would write an email to a co-worker or a family member. It's pretty simple. If you are typing/conversing as you would in the real world, then you're more likely to be in regular every day person brain rather than kink/fantasy brain.

Members who consistently break this rule will be placed on moderation, as it takes our time and energy to fix it, correct you, etc. We have better things to do with our time!
FAQ Manager ©2018 Iversia from RPGfix.